Surprise!

It was at a young age that I had decided I never wanted to bear children. not only could I not stand the sound of their cries or the mess they made, but more importantly I could never understand why a woman between her late teens to mid thirties would want to completely wreck their body in that way.oh and the fact that a pregnant belly absolutely terrified me. So you can imagine the predicament I faced two months after my 21st birthday when I saw the two lines of doom that would change my life from this point on.

All my teen years I managed to keep a small social group of people who were basically a bunch of hermits. This worked greatly in my favor because while most adolescence had to stress over not keeping up with the cool kids and where the coolest parties were at, my friends and I were perfectly fine with staying home and overindulging ourselves with unlimited Netflix streaming capabilities. Oh, and it also kept me from becoming the stereotypical, “reckless teen who parties to much and winds up peaking in high school, thus making the rest of their life extremely dull while they work their lackluster job at Kinko’s.” Now don’t get me wrong, I love Kinko’s as much as the next person, but I may or may not thank god daily that I have a some what fulfilling life outside of the public schooling system.

But this has nothing to do with how I got in this conundrum. My best friend Lydia had the genius idea of taking me out to a bar the night of my 21st birthday. Mind you I live in Wisconsin and my birthday is in January. So to say it’s colder than a witches heart is an understatement. But after BEGGING me all week to “let her take me out” I finally caved. We decided to take her car to the bar because she had the larger car and the better tires. Oh, did I forget to mention there were at least 5 inches of snow on the ground and it was still accumulating? But, she still INSISTED that we go, so we bundled up in our not so attractive snow gear and made the trek out to the nearest and local bar…..

hey guys i just wanted to try my hand at some short story writing. i would love some feed back on the story thus far and if i should write some more! much love

bree

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THIS WEEK THROUGH MY BRAIN

There has been a bit that has happened in this past week via pop culture. I personally cannot STAND some of these stories and the people who have the AUDACITY to post them, however they are my guilty pleasure.

1) Firstly there this piece of shit Jon gosselin who wants full custody of one child. Just one. For those of you who do not know him he is from “Jon and Kate plus 8” until he went off and cheated of his wife. Let’s start with the first issue of this which is, in my point of view, when he cheated and abandoned his family, he lost the right to take the kids out of the living situation. If he would have just divorced her first it would’ve been a different story. Now the second problem is the fact that there is EIGHT CHILDERN. How are you going to explain that only one of them gets to live with dad while the rest are with mommy? You can’t do that. The family has already been torn apart from the divorce, now let’s just rip the kids away from the place they lived their ENTIRE life. Bitch please. Sit down.

2) in the trend of shitty human beings is Dzhokhar Tsarnaev (the Boston marathon bomber). This complete POS was FINALLY sentenced to death. Its been two years since the attack and he has just been sentenced. TWO YEARS MAN!

“Last month, after deliberating for 11 hours, the jury found Mr. Tsarnaev guilty of all 30 charges against him in connection with the bombings and the death a few days later of a fourth person, an M.I.T. police officer. The same jury spent 14 hours over three days deliberating the sentence. With its decision, the jury rejected virtually every argument that the defense put forth, including the centerpiece of its case — that Mr. Tsarnaev’s older brother, Tamerlan, had held a malevolent sway over him and led him into committing the crimes.”

WHAT?!?! THAT WAS APART OF THE ARGUMENT? Let me just make the fact that everyone in this world has FREE WILL! I don’t care if someone has a gun to your head and says “give me all your money”, you have the choice to give him that money or not. There is not a person in this world that can MAKE you do ANYTHING. And then there is the jurors who think he felt “remorse”. I can promise you that someone who can bomb a marathon and didn’t commit suicide yet, does not feel bad about his actions. However, I think they should have just given him a life sentence for each victim. Because at this rate he would go through a long process of appeals and multiple court dates.

3) Can we just talk about skeletor-imean-Chrissy teigen. There comes a point in time where you need to say NO to plastic surgery. JUST SAY NO CHRISSY!!

chrissy-teigen-in-vera-wang-wedding-gown

  god shes gorgeous!

SKELETOR

SKELETOR

but that is a short bit of the week through my eyes:) much love

-peglegs

oh lawdy

Being that it is officially summer for me i though I’d explore some articles from top magazines such as Cosmopolitan. so here we go!

1) after reading through the article 12 Signs He Respects You, ive some what lost hope in humanity. I find it terribly sad that articles like this are being written. as a woman, i know if someone respects me or not. i do not need some magazine explaining it to me.

2) OHHHH this next article grinds my gears! in this article it talks about an ELEVEN year old girl who has “learning disabilities” and was raped and is now pregnant. she wants to keep the baby.

 The girl, who reportedly has learning disabilities, has expressed an interest in keeping the baby and raising it with her attacker, but doctors worry that she doesn’t fully understand what’s happening to her

so basically, the Uruguayan doctors believe she doesnt know what she is talking about because she has learning disabilities. these doctors have no right to force her into an abortion.

3) shes been in the news quite a bit but this is basically why she gets in the news. shes an adult woman. she deserves to show off her body. shes not hannah montana . she is an adult who can pose for what ever she pleases

UDON KNOW ME!

When I began to think about who I want to read my blog, I start to get a tad anxious. How am I supposed to make a decision else when I can’t even make decisions for myself?!? And then it hit me like a pimp hits a prostitute.

Maybe it’s not who I want to read my blog, but what I want my readers to get out of it. Maybe, by being my regular quite cunning self, I could hook some readers to flip through my blog post. Although, I don’t want you to go rushing to conclusions and Drift a wave when the blog isn’t what you are hoping for.

I greatly enjoy sciencey puns

this is why you don’t go chasing water falls

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE??

Who am I? Well there are many ways to answer that question. I could answer it from a scientific stand point, and say that I am a homosapien. Or maybe I’ll choose to answer it from a human population stand point, in which I am just a mere pore on earths face. Oh, you want a personal intro. Well I can also do that.

I entered this world via my mother’s uterus on the 11th day of February, in the year 1995. My parents decided to choose the most uncommon name (maybe even made up) name and bestow it upon me. That name would be Breannan Emelia Kolb. This is the same name that I spent most of my grade school years HATING because nobody could pronounce it. I’ve heard every type of mispronunciation. When I was younger id just let people call me by the wrong name. That quickly changed as I became older.

Now what exactly makes my blog different from the millions of other blogs out there? Well probably nothing. But! I will indeed advance my blogging capabilities and learn how to better my writing abilities along the way. And maybe, JUST MAYBE, I will provide others with a chuckle, or maybe a tear, every now and then (hopefully not from my blog being horrible).

But anyway, I am very excited to begin this journey into the blogging world and hopefully to make my blog super awesome!

Fight Club: The Complete Rules

The Byronic Man

  1. You do not talk about Fight Club
  2. YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB.
  3. If someone says stop, goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over.
  4. Only 2 guys to a fight.
  5. One fight at a time.
  6. No shirt, no shoes.
  7. Fights will go on as long as they have to.
  8. If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight.
  9. If this is your second time at Fight Club, you have to help clean up at the end of the evening.
  10. You know, it's YOUR fight club, and if you choose not to bring any food... You know, it’s YOUR fight club, and if you choose not to bring any food…

    If this is your third time at Fight Club and you still haven’t brought anything for the potluck table, I mean, it’s not a requirement I guess, but come on, dude.

  11. No making “whoosh” or “pow” sounds to give your punches sound effects. Matrix Club meets down the street.

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